AIS with Apologies to Dr. Seuss

Aquatic Invasive Species – what are they?
They’re nearing our lakes and coming our way.
When they arrive, they’ll make a mess.
And we just call them A-I-S.

They hitchhike on boats from lake to lake,
Wreaking havoc in their wake.
They are plants, animals and even a virus.
We do not like you A-I-S!

As they infest lake after lake,
We must step up ‘fore its too late.
So many lakes are facing the test
Of this long, long list of A-I-S.

We’ve had some of these most of our life:
Milfoil, curlyleaf and purple loosestrife.
Flowering rush, common carp add to our stress.
Please, oh please no more A-I-S.

There are bighead, black and silver carp,
Brazilian elodea, Hydrilla and yellow floating heart.
Viral hemorrhagic septicemia – or VHS.
Alas, there are even more A-I-S.

Mystery snails – Banded, Japanese and Chinese,
European frogbit, New Zealand mudsnails and Indian swampweed – please.
Giant salvinia, water hyacinth and water lettuce.
When will it end? Yikes A-I-S!

Rusty – rainbow – spiny, gee!
[Crayfish, smelt and waterflea]
Mussels – Quagga and zebra – we cannot rest.
Will we stop these A-I-S?

Ruffe and round goby if you wish.
Even Northern snakehead, called ‘Frankenfish’
There are more and more of these awful pests.
We must stand up against A-I-S.

They spoil fishing, tourism, economy;
Recreation, enjoyment and ecology.
We can do more to ease our duress.
Why wouldn’t we stop these A-I-S?

Once in a lake, there is no cure-
All we can do is cope and endure.
We gotta prevent these blasted pests,
If we don’t want A-I-S.

A-I-S are big and bad,
A-I-S make us sad.
A-I-S are coming fast.
A-I-S are a pain in the … butt.